Navel gazing and career path

The exploding head sums it up -

I am at a massive transitional stage of my life in terms of career, purpose and so on.

In the last three weeks, I have resigned from my journalism job after just two months when it was meant to last two years. Leaving a secure job in a tight employment market? I must be crazy!

In a week I'll leave my nice Auckland flat and my cool flatties to return home to decide which direction to pursue.

In the grand scheme of the universe what's happening to me is completely banal and unimportant but at this particular moment it feels like big stuff.

Should you care? No, probably not - there are far more important things to be concerned about than my life-trajectory angst.

BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am going through the same thoughts and doubts that many of us go through, so my hope is that you can identify, relate and perhaps give suggestions!

In the next few weeks I want to focus my energy on something new, something that I feel passionate about. I want to find a job that I love and that I feel actually matters.

My journey to this particular moment started at the beginning of 2008 when I dropped out of law school and finished my arts degree in politics and film. I applied and was selected as an intern for a major media company and got entry to Canterbury journalism school which started in 2009.

After traveling for two months over summer I returned to Auckland in March and optimistically started my two year contract.

I had a gut feeling during my placement last year that the work environment wasn't for me but I thought I should see the process through.

Parts of the job were good, and I did meet some great folks. I tried my best and wrote some big stories but I was already dragging my feet to work. One of my colleagues made the decision to leave a lot easier with his behaviour (long story).

I think many people have the feeling they are not on the right path in life but they stay at it cause they feel they should or because they have to provide for their families. For some people work is just a way of making money and the boring bit that you have to go through to do fun stuff.

In 2005, during a commencement address to Stanford University, Steve Jobs used a quote that I think is very powerful and I wholeheartedly intend to live by:

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."

People who excel in a certain fields usually have a mix of talent and raw passion. I know what my interests are and want to throw myself into something that feels important. Too idealistic? Probably

For the moment though, I'm reading, learning and surveying options.

They range from finding another job, doing further study or taking a big round the world trip. I have to say at this moment, the third option is most appealing.

Thoughts or comments welcome..